New Adult Tournament #NACrushTourney

Hey there!

I wanted to pop in for a quick announcement. I don't know if you guys have checked out NA Alley lately, but we have some exciting stuff going on.

The YA Sisterhood does an annual Crush Tournament for all those fabulous YA crushes, so make sure to check out their site and then come over to ours and vote for your favorite NA crushes.
To see who you can vote for, and the advocates, check out this post

Have a great week, everyone!

Tired of abuse being "okay" in novels.

Is it just me or does it seem like there are a lot of books that have "acceptable abuse" situations, recently? I say "acceptable abuse" because no abuse is acceptable but the way the author writes it makes it come across as "hey kids, this is just fine!"
Do you know what I mean?
Sometimes, they give an excuse. I'm going to make a probably shitty move here and bring up Twilight. Or whichever one it is when Bella and Edward get busy. He destroys her clothes, the headboard and she has bruises and his response is "Sorry, I just can't control myself."
Ummmm...seriously? You know who else says that? Abusive people who beat their partners or family and say "I just can't control myself" or "I can't control my anger" or "you make me do it." And doesn't that sound even more familiar when Edward continues to talk about how he just loves her so much or is just so turned on by her (or whatever it is he says, I can't remember exactly) and that's why he can't control himself?
It really bothers me. It makes me worried for the young generation of readers. These stories where situations that are abusive but are told as "sweet" or "cute" or "so romantic" make me worry.
I've also noticed some Female On Male abuse in stories, which IS ALSO NOT OKAY. It may not be reported as often, but there is such a thing as female's abusing men. I don't understand why someone would want to make light of it or act like it's no big.
I've read a few scenes where a female character flips out and hits the male character, sometimes repeatedly. And then the male character is all okay about it, even if it's described as serious hitting. What is that? Why should be think that it's okay for anyone to hit anyone (outside of a boxing ring)? Why should our characters hit other characters and expect it to be fine and for it to turn out fine? If  the male character did that, just suddenly went nuts and started hitting the female character, I highly doubt the character would be okay or that readers would be okay with it. It shouldn't be any different because it's a girl hitting the guy.
I'm all for writers having freedom. I'm all for honesty in work. But I really don't like this idea that eventually abuse could be normalized because of writing, that we are teaching the generations that abuse can be okay, because it isn't okay.
What are your thoughts?

The Sand That Knows Me

It's only sand, but it has seen my steps every season, every year.  

From cowboy boots to tennis shoes to bare feet, the imprints have been made. They've been blown away, day after day, but I know they are still there, unseen.

It's my place to go when I need to just be me, when I need to think, when I need to escape, when I just need to breathe. 

"Dyer's Greenweed on the Ditch Bank" by Robin Webster

At times, there have been another set of footsteps next to mine.  At others, the four hoof prints are extensions of me.

I've grown and changed a lot as most of us do, and this place has seen it all. Nothing here can speak, but I feel all of me- the past and the present.  I feel it in the layers below my feet, the layers that have been shaped by wind and water;  in the trees that have grown, big and lovely, and in the trees that have withered and fallen, beautiful in their age.

The old tree house has long been abandoned, wood steps broken and holes in the floor, but just seeing it stirs memories and brings back peace.

Not everything that has happened here as been good. My tears, even my blood, have seeped into the earth, mixing deep below with my footprints that have blown away on the surface.  The ground that has given me peace and healed me  has also left me bruised and broken.

All those memories shaped me, be it the "good" or the "bad", and I remember them as I continue to walk on that sand. Those are just pieces of me.  This place has seen all of them, and for that I feel at home. 

This is a subject that I've thought about often.  I decided to write some of those thoughts, obviously, and here they are.  My friend Bailey did a post, that I just read after writing this up because I've been a horrible friend-blog-reader this past couple of weeks (sorry all, will catch up!), and she writes about her go-to place. I suggest checking it out. So, Bailey, this is my Tiffany's (Go read her post so you see what I'm talking about!).

Do you have a place where you go when you need to think, or maybe even when you need to not think, just be and just breathe? 

New Adult is NOT what ABC Nightline claims it is

I am so glad that NA is getting attention. Seriously. It makes me so happy.
However, it makes me quite unhappy when that attention is inaccurate. ABC Nightline did an article and a story on New Adult recently. Much to my dismay, it made NA out to be "smut" and "Young adult mixed with erotica".
It claims it "puts smut on top." You can check out the article here. I admit that even linking to that made me cringe.
It saddens me that apparently very little to none research went into this article.
For one, New Adult IS NOT A GENRE. IT IS A CATEGORY. I've discussed that before, so I'm not going to get into it. But remember, New Adult can be any genre. Could it be erotica? Sure. Does it have to be? No. Is most of it? No.
There is a lot of NA that doesn't even have sex in it.

So, please, don't believe everything in that article. New Adult is NOT SMUT.

I'm so sad that New Adult finally gets attention, but it's inaccurate and disrespectful to writers and readers.

Cover Reveal: DESTINY GIFT by Juliana Haygert

Hey Hey everyone,

I know I keep saying that I don't do cover reveals, and, really I don't do many. But I make a few exceptions every now and then. Like today, for my friend Juliana. Let me say, the cover is gorgeous! 

So, who is Miss Juliana Haygert? 

On a personal note, she's a fantastic friend and a very sweet 
and caring person. On the professional side, she's a great writer! 
Her Bio: While Juliana Haygert dreams of being Wonder Woman, Buffy, or a blood elf shadow priest, she settles for the less exciting—but equally gratifying—life of a wife, mother, and author. Thousands of miles away from her former home in Brazil, she now resides in Connecticut and spends her days writing about kick-ass heroines and the heroes who drive them crazy.

What are we revealing today? The cover of her debut novel, Destiny Gift.

Destiny Gift will be available April 9th, 2013. 

Here is the blurb from Destiny Gift:
Thirty years in the future, a sinister New York City exists in permanent darkness.

A student at the secured NYU, nineteen-year-old Nadine has visions of Victor Gianni, an imaginary guy she has real feelings for. Afraid of being truly insane, she explains the visions away as simple daydreams, but she can no longer deny them when she bumps into Victor in real life. But this Victor doesn’t know her, and turns her away. After the encounter, Nadine’s visions change to those of eerie fates, gods she’s never heard of, demons with sharp claws they are not too timid to use … and instructions.

To discover if she’s losing her mind, Nadine follows the vague directions—with the real, rude and reluctant Victor—leading to a man who knows it all: Nadine can restore an ancient creed by unveiling the clues on her visions, and bring sunlight and peace to the world again. But that’s only if the demons and the other evil forces behind the darkness don’t stop her first.

ARE YOU READY? HERE WE GO

You can find Destiny Gift on Goodreads. There is a GIVEAWAY going on so make sure to check that link.

You can also find Juliana around the web:
-website (I LOVE the pictures on her site).
-Goodreads
-Facebook
-Twitter

And, if you're lucky you may also catch Juliana at #Nalitchat and over at NA Alley.

On Steubenville Highschool and rape

I wasn't sure if I was going to post on this or not, but decided I don't want to keep quiet about it. That's one of the problems of the rape culture in our society is that too many people keep quiet.

If you haven't heard about the Steubenville High School rape case, you need to read this. We need to talk about it. We need to discuss it.

Please read the article I linked to. This happened back in August. A highschool girl was taken from party to party with some highschool footballs players (the video on that link states she was drugged) and raped. Anonymous leaked the video taken by people at these parties discussing the girl and the rapes. What they say is sickening. The whole thing is sickening.

First, let me say this: Thank you Anonymous for leaking it and Knight Sec for posting it and for the statement made by Knight Sec on their website "We will not sit idly by and watch a group of young men who turn to rape as a game or sport get the pass because of athletic ability and small town luck. " You did more than anyone at those parties did. You're not keeping quiet about it. So, thank you.

Second, what does this say? Honestly, anything I say now is an understatement. It shows that our culture and society needs serious help.  It shows that rape in our society is still "not a big deal." I've known guys who say rape is wrong, but will then say that having sex with an inebriated girl isn't rape. And, boy, are they wrong.

But that seems to be a common thought in our society.

There are good guys in the world. And there are guys with mothers and sisters and wives and daughters. This is something that yours mothers and sisters and wives and daughters must deal with in our society. IT CAN NO LONGER BE A ISSUE THAT ONLY WOMEN MUST "FIX" OR DEAL WITH. It never should have been.

Girls need to know these things aren't acceptable. That in no way is sex Ok unless it is consensual  Boys need to learn this also. Everyone needs to know that it is Ok to stand up for someone else in this situation. Everyone needs to look for compassion in themselves and respect for one another.
How about instead of focusing on it being the woman's decision (by "how not to get raped") to it being the rapist's decision (like, how about, don't rape) and the societies stance on rape.

You know what else sickens me about this? That there were people who witnessed this and did nothing. What if that was you? What if that was your sister? Hell-- how about because it's another human being.

So, girls, what can you do? Know that you don't deserve to be some game at a party, that you don't deserve to be raped. Know you have value and worth. Make sure your friends know this as well. Speak up about these things. Tell your guy friends. Encourage them to speak up about these things.

And, guys, what can you do? You can be the guys who don't do these things. You can be the guy who stops situations like this when you see one. Respect yourself and women. Respect genders, sexuality, people. Tell your friends to speak up. Encourage them to respect each other. Stop the rape jokes. Don't let that guy take that passed out girl to a bedroom. Show that you respect women. If or when you have kids, teach them compassion and respect for the opposite genders.

And what about our society? We can stop accepting it. We can stop shushing it. We can speak up. We can make sure that these things don't go unnoticed. We can provide justice, we can show that this isn't Ok. We can SUPPORT the survivors. We can show them compassion and love and that they have worth, that it is not their fault, that they should not have shame. We can teach that RAPE IS RAPE. We can try to help people understand that if someone says no or can't say no, then don't do it. We can encourage compassion and respect among each other. We can stop making this a "woman's only issue". We can accept cases like this are gender hate crimes. We can accept that we need to hold the rapist accountable, that we need to stop putting women in charge of "if they get raped or not". We can make people accountable for their actions. Men and women can work together to change the societies rape culture.

You want to know what was the strongest scene for me in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? When Lisbeth initiates sex with Bloomkvist. It is so powerful. Why do I feel that way? She was raped. And she manages to take or keep control of her body and her sexuality. Even if there is supposed to be other things going on with the character and all of that (you know what I mean if you've read the novels), it's still a scene where a woman takes back her sexuality, takes back a part of herself that someone tried to take from her. I'm sure some people don't see it that way, but I think that those of us who see the problems with rape in our culture, hell, in the world, can see what I mean and why it is powerful.

I hope that one day this girl who went through this and every other rape victim get to have a scene like that in their own life, in which they are able to work to take back what was theirs, physically and emotionally. In which they are able to feel strong enough, to feel valued and respected enough to do that.

Accept your writing style

I enjoy talking to other writers about their writing style and their editing process. I enjoy it because I like to learn what works for people.

But, inevitably, the panster vs. plotter question comes up. I actually don't mind that question. I do mind, however, when one side tries to say it is better than the other side. There's a lot of "real writers plan everything" or "real writers don't have to plan anything."

You have to do what works for you. There's no golden ticket in writing. The readers aren't going to care if you're a panster or plotter. They are going to care about the book itself. And the best thing you can do for the book itself is to write. Write whatever way works best for you. That is going to make the book what it is. 

I've accepted that I'm somewhere in the middle, though probably more so in the panster camp. That was hard for me to accept at first because in my daily life I am a total planner. I love planners, I love making lists, I love notecards, I love organization. I love having a plan of attack for the day. I'm also somewhat OCD. In school, I was a neurotic planner. You couldn't afford not to plan in the program I was in. You didn't have the time to not have a plan for every second of every day. And that included my papers. They weren't the type of papers you could bullshit. You had to be well organized to do them, you had to have them planned. 

So the first novel I thought I would write (first novel being in a serious way for lack of a better explanation, not taking into account the stuff I had written in high-school, mid-school or elementary school), I planned the shit out of it. Down to every detail. And boy, was my binder beautiful. Scene cards, character cards, color coordinated scene cards (to match switching POV), outlines, character reactions yadadadaddadadadada. It was organizational art. And it was beautiful.

And then I started to actually write. 
And it all went to crap. I barely wrote anything (maybe 18k???) before wanting to shred it all. I figured out that I can't write that way. Well, let me rephrase: I could write it, sure, but it wasn't as enjoyable for me, the writing lacked passion, hell I lacked feeling passion for the story anymore, and I got bored. 

Knowing every little thing did not work for me. I knew my characters too well (yes, I do believe it's possible to know them too well). And having everything planned did something to by OCDness that made me feel like I couldn't change that plan. Even if I could have gotten over that, I didn't want to. It messed me up. It took away part of my writing process that I need. 

It was a good experiment. And still beautifully organized. But I finally accepted that I couldn't write it, that I didn't want to write it anymore. The only thing I wanted to write related to that story was that a bus ran over them all. The end. 

So, my next project turned out to be the first novel I wrote. I decided to go at it a completely different way. For one, I would work on it during my semester breaks. These were short, only a few days, and I wanted to write in that short time frame, not plan. Second, after my horribly failed attempt at that other project, I chose to write it total panster. 

And I did. Now, I did have three scenes/ideas when I started already in my head. One was my intro, which I really have to have down for me to continue writing the project (I'm talking the hook here), one was a scene I felt would be important and the other was an idea (not even a specific scene, just an idea) of what could happen for the climax. That was it. I didn't do scene cards or character outlines (which I actually loathe doing). 

I loved writing it. I could feel the passion in it more so than the other project. I was writing the journey as it happened, discovering things as my characters did. I learned about the characters through my writing. I had a general idea of the main characters, but I mean general. My knowledge of them grew as I wrote; they grew and transformed as I wrote. 

Of course it's not all rainbows and unicorns pooping skittles. The downside to not planning was that the MS required some serious editing and revision. I also refuse to edit while writing the first draft, so yeah...

What did I learn from both of these experiences? That I tend to be more panster, yes, but that I do like a little bit of plotting. I love plotting itself, but as I learned, too much plotting can hinder my writing so I tend to purposely stay more pansterish. I could get into what my bit of plotting entails, but I don't want to bore you anymore. 

So, what is my point in my ramble? That you have to accept what works for you, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for it. Don't try to force something because you think that is how you should be. 

Have you come to terms with your style? Have you figured out what works for you?